c/dad-joke-showdown

Spent $80 on a 'gag-proof' whoopee cushion that just squeaked at me

Last Father's Day I bought this fancy inflatable cushion online for $80, figured it would be the ultimate dad joke prop for the family barbecue in Dayton. Turns out the 'premium latex' was so thick it just made a sad little squeak instead of a proper blast. My nephew Timmy laughed harder at the price tag than the joke itself, and now I'm stuck with a deflated lump in the garage. Anyone else drop cash on a joke gadget that completely flopped?

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hugo_jones2•13h ago

Spent a whole afternoon replacing a light switch, should've been 15 minutes tops

Went to swap out a standard toggle switch in my hallway last Saturday and the old wiring had three hot wires twisted together with no markings. Took me 2 hours of flipping breakers and testing with a multimeter before I figured out which was which. Anyone else ever turn a simple 15 minute job into an all day thing just because the previous owner did something weird?

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david821•2d ago

My dentist dad joke backfired in the worst way at my checkup

Last Tuesday I was in the chair getting a cavity filled. My dentist, Dr. Patel, asked if I wanted to hear a joke to relax. I said sure. He said, "Why did the tooth go to the dentist? Because it had a filling." I laughed too hard, my jaw slipped, and I bit his finger. He yelled something in a language I didn't know. The assistant had to pause the drill for 5 minutes. Now my appointment is double booked next month. Has anyone else had a joke go sideways during a procedure?

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hunt.rowan•6d ago

My 4 year old's knock knock joke took 20 minutes to land

My daughter told me a knock knock joke she made up and it made zero sense. I kept guessing wrong answers and she kept repeating the same punchline like I was the dumb one. After 20 minutes I finally got it, it was about a horse and a doorbell. Laughed so hard I snorted, and she gave me this super proud look. Now she wants to test it on the whole family reunion next weekend. Anyone else have a kid who thinks confusing is the same as funny?

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nathan_foster60•6d ago

Told my daughter a knock knock joke at her graduation party, total silence

My daughter turned 18 last Saturday, party at our place in Boise. She asked me to keep the jokes tame for her friends. I picked a classic knock knock instead of my usual pun setup. Big mistake. Twenty teenagers just stared at me for a solid five seconds. One kid finally laughed out of pity. Should I stick to puns or just retire from dad jokes at public events entirely?

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richardfox•6d ago

My son's joke book from 1998 still beats the internet

Found my old copy of "The Big Book of Dad Jokes" at my mom's place last weekend. Cost me $3.99 at a mall in Tucson back in 1998. My kid scrolled through his phone for 20 minutes and couldn't find one decent groaner. I read him three from that book, he laughed at none, but he did roll his eyes so hard I counted it as a win. Why did jokes get so complicated with all these meme formats and references? Does anyone else think a simple pun still does the job better than anything you find online now?

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felix_bailey45•9d ago

My joke timing was off for 3 years until a coworker set me straight

I always delivered the punchline right after the setup, thought that was the whole point. Then last Tuesday in the break room at Schneider Electric, Mark from accounting laughed at my joke but said 'you paused too long, the groan comes faster.' I counted my beats against a YouTube video of a live comedy set and realized I was spacing my lines 4 seconds apart instead of 2. Has anyone else found that the silence before the punchline matters more than the words themselves?

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johnfoster•12d ago

Hit 100 dad jokes posted here, my family is starting to hide from me

I've been posting one every day for a few weeks now and hit exactly 100 this morning. The funny part is my wife caught me writing one about the toaster and she just shook her head and walked out of the room. My kids heard me practicing the punchline and pretended they had homework. Has anyone else gotten to a weird milestone count and realized your loved ones are done with you?

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sandra715•13d ago

Paid $30 for a dad joke app that just gave me the same 10 jokes on loop

Honestly, I thought I was being smart downloading this 'Ultimate Dad Joke Generator' app for $30. Figured it would have hundreds of fresh jokes for my weekly showdown with the guys at the pub. But after three days, I realized it just kept recycling the same 10 jokes about chickens crossing roads and bananas slipping. I even tried the 'premium' section thinking I'd get new material, nope, just the same ones with different emojis. I wasted a whole afternoon scrolling through it and ended up groaning at my own wallet more than the jokes. My buddy Dave told me to just use Reddit for free next time. Has anyone else gotten burned by a joke app that promised way more than it delivered?

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cole_bailey85•19d ago

Thought I was a dad joke genius until my 8-year-old groaned and said 'that's not even funny, that's just accurate'

I told her 'I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to put down' and she deadpanned 'gravity isn't a book, Dad, it's a force' and then walked away, so now I'm wondering if I've been telling science facts instead of jokes this whole time.

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troyjackson•19d ago

Hit my 500th dad joke posted here and my family groaned louder than ever

I've been tracking every groan for 3 years now, and the 500th joke got a record 12 groans from my kids at dinner. It was a pun about a broken pencil - pointless, I know. How many groans did your joke get today?

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jesseb20•20d ago

Always rolled my eyes at rubber spatula hype until I used one to scrape a jar clean

My wife bought one of those $8 silicone spatulas from the kitchen supply store last month and I laughed at her. Figured it was just another gimmick. Then I watched her scrape out every last bit of peanut butter from a jar without leaving a smear. I tried it on a honey jar and got probably an extra two tablespoons out. That thing paid for itself in 4 jars. Anyone else get schooled by a simple kitchen tool they swore was useless?

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the_mason•21d ago

Dropped $120 on a pack of 'indestructible' LED strip lights that flickered like crazy after three months

Now I'm stuck replacing them one by one and wondering if I should just go back to regular bulbs - has anyone else had luck with a specific brand that actually lasts?

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mason.paige•22d ago

Told my kids a joke about a fence for 3 years before my wife groaned and said it makes no sense

I used to say "Why did the fence cross the road?" and pause for effect, thinking it was a classic build up. My wife finally told me last Tuesday that fences don't cross roads, they run along them, and the punchline about "nailed it" just falls flat without a proper setup. How do you guys check if a joke actually works before you spend years telling it?

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charlie_lane85•23d ago

TIL my dad jokes were too long and complicated this whole time

I used to tell these long setup jokes with three or four parts. Took like a minute to get through each one. Then my 8 year old nephew told me my jokes were boring and walked away mid joke. That kid is brutal but he was right. Now I keep them to one sentence max and the groans are way better. Has anyone else had a kid call out your joke delivery like that?

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noahchen•24d ago

The day I realized I'd been telling dad jokes backwards for 20 years

I was at my son's baseball game last Saturday and another dad told one. "Why don't scientists trust atoms?" I knew the punchline was "they make up everything" but I blurted it out before the setup was finished. Three dads just stared at me. My own kid said "Dad, you're supposed to let them guess first." Turns out the whole point of a dad joke is the pause and the groan. I'd been just blurting the punchline immediately like a robot. Has anyone else accidentally been doing this format wrong their whole life?

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lisa839•25d ago

Just realized my 8 year old totally roasted my joke game

My daughter Lily told me my pun about the broken pencil was pointless after I cracked it at dinner last night. She said dad jokes only work if they catch you off guard, not when you announce them like a magic trick. That kid hit me with a truth bomb that made me rethink my whole approach. Any of you guys gotten schooled by a kid on your delivery?

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alice_reed47•1mo ago

Had a lightbulb moment about my garage door opener after it just stopped mid-cycle on Tuesday

I watched it freeze halfway up and then realized the sensor beam was blocked by a cobweb that had been building for months, has anyone else had a tiny spider web kill their whole morning?

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jade221•1mo ago

The 'lighter fluid on charcoal' debate that I lost hard on last weekend

I always thought putting lighter fluid directly on already-lit coals was totally fine. My brother-in-law Dave kept telling me at the family cookout that I was doing it wrong, and I told him he was being dramatic. Then one of the flames shot up and caught the sleeve of my flannel on fire, just a little, but enough to scare me. Dave calmly handed me the chimney starter and said 'you're welcome' while I was patting out my shirt. I still think lighter fluid has its place, but has anyone else had a close call that made them switch to the chimney method?

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