People overpaying for hair is not a crisis.

Man, a buddy of mine had the same thing happen with a $40 gun from Amazon when his Iwata died on a Saturday job. He slowed his passes way down and dropped to about 26 psi at the cap, and the clear laid out fine on the doors, though he had to keep the fan tight or it got splotchy. So you're not crazy, those guns just want less air and more patience than the good ones.

The "fine print kept contradicting itself" part is what gets me every time. My buddy drove 40 minutes to a store because a cashback app said he'd get $12 back on laundry soap, only to find out the app meant the name brand and he'd grabbed the store brand. He tried to swap it at the register, but the sale price had already rung up wrong, so the whole thing turned into a 20 minute ordeal over about $4. He still talks about it like it was a life lesson.