Not gonna lie, a sledgehammer on a window frame feels like overkill from the start. Could probably have fixed it with some WD-40 and patience, but hey, now you got a story for the next family dinner.

that "split leaves within weeks" part is wild though. i wonder if it's less about the light itself and more about the humidity bumping up in the bathroom. monstera are tropical af and sometimes they hold back on fenestrations if the air is too dry, even with good light. your neighbor might have accidentally hit the sweet spot with both steam and glow.

Ha! Your wife nailed it though. Oversized denim is tricky. It's easy to slip from "intentionally baggy" straight into "I'm wearing a pillowcase." I think the key is in the shoulder fit. If the shoulder seam hangs way past your actual shoulder, you're a potato. Get that right and you're just stylish.

Oh man, my buddy did the same thing and his toolbox still smells like old grease three years later.

Read that shop vac trick saves hours of frustration compared to coat hangers.