But pruning always gives me bigger, better tomatoes, doesn't it?

Sharpening angle matters more than brand honestly.

You mention setting long foundation forms, so what kind of cheap laser did you end up with, and @price.alice, was yours similar?

Ever try the gas station hot dog hack?

Wait hold on, that stat proves the opposite. If 60% of people do stick with it past that first month, then the "just pick a language and go" advice is actually working for most people. The dropouts are the ones who realize it's not for them, which is a good thing. It saves them from wasting more time on something they hate. The first month is supposed to be awful, it's a filter. Your cousin will either push through that wall or find out it's not his thing, and both are fine outcomes.