So Parker Campbell, you're telling me the dirt itself is against hydraulic lifts? What's next, the bedrock files a formal complaint? Guess the whole area just really hates smooth elevator rides. Makes you wonder if the water table is just a secret fan of climbing stairs.

Tired eyes can play the wildest tricks... I once swore I saw a parking meter melt after a triple shift. Maybe your brain just needed a quick reboot like mine did. Check your sleep and let it go, man.

Remember when my friend showed his teenager how to chop vegetables properly? He handed over a really sharp knife for the first time. The kid got nervous and sent a cucumber flying into the ceiling light. There were tiny seeds and bits of green all over the kitchen. My friend now says any lesson with blades happens in the backyard on a old picnic table. It saved his clean up time for sure.