Ah, I still get more joy from hunting down the rare ones myself.

You might be right that "threw me across the room" is a stretch, but sometimes people exaggerate when they're scared or shocked. Still, the point is it wasn't a gentle bump either, you know?

Did you try scoring the painted layer before steaming? Makes a huge difference.

Aw man, you nailed it. I learned how to trim my own hair during the pandemic (big mistake, huge) and I swear the old guys at the barbershop now give me the exact same look my grandpa gave me when I tried to fix my own bike chain. They can spot a bad lineup from across the street, like they got some sixth sense for uneven sideburns. I walked in with a lopsided fade once and this one guy just sighed so deep I felt my soul leave my body. Honestly, I’d pay double just for their silent judgment at this point.

@hunt.rowan yeah it really does man. I switched to a basic brita filter after hearing the same thing and my morning coffee went from bitter and flat to actually having some sweetness. Your mileage may vary depending on your tap water but it's a cheap thing to try before upgrading anything else.