The part about your niece asking if you were okay really got me, because that is the exact moment a dad joke can backfire. But here is where I see it different: a groan is not a fail, a groan is the whole point. The joke is not supposed to land like a real joke. It is supposed to be bad, and the family groan is the laugh. Your anti gravity line was actually solid. The problem was not the joke, it was the pause before it, when everyone could tell you were reaching for something. I would rather hear a dad fumble a joke than sit through a speech that sounds like a work email. So keep winging it. The uncle who tries and eats a groan is way more fun than the uncle who stays quiet.

Yep, learned that lesson too. Velcro is the only way now.

The strain relief on those cheap ones is basically just a plastic mold with zero flex, so every bend at the connector goes straight into the wire inside. I've torn apart a few out of curiosity and the copper strands snap right where the molding ends, it's a design flaw not bad luck on your part. The braided ones usually have a spring or thicker rubber boot there that absorbs all that movement, which is probably why yours is holding up. I'd say the $15 is worth it if you're like me and constantly fidgeting with your phone while it's plugged in, but I still keep a cheap one in my travel bag for when something inevitably gets left at a buddy's place.