My neighbor's critique of my flash fiction made me see pacing in a new light

Last Tuesday, Mrs. Alvarez from apartment 3B read my 500 word horror prompt response and said 'you buried the hook under all that fog.' She spent 10 minutes showing me how the first two paragraphs could be one sentence. Has anyone else had a non-writer point out something so basic that it rearranged how you approach every prompt?

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ray_webb61d ago

My buddy Marcus got the same treatment from his dentist, of all people. The guy read his sci-fi short about a colony ship and said, "Why does the ship break down on page three when you already told me it's gonna break on page one?" Marcus had spent a whole paragraph describing the hull stress before anything actually happened. Now he starts every story with the moment things go wrong, then backtracks if he needs to. Dentist was right, that basic "tell them and show them faster" rule changed his whole style.