Re: Tips for getting started

Posted by Angua on September 29, 2008 at 12:45:57:

In Reply to: Tips for getting started posted by Experienced on September 29, 2008 at 02:19:48:

Uhhmmm...
It could be a cultural thing, because I'm european, but if some guy I'd date would start like that, I'd probably dump him straight away... and I AM into bondage!!
Sorry, but it that scenario reminded me of the famous flirt "Your parents must be thieves, they stole the stars from the sky and gave them to you as eyes."

Anyway...
I don't think such a detailed scenario is any good advice, because there are so many different ways the partner can react.

If this is about how to tell your partner that you are into bondage, then leaving some hints, like having scarves lying around, or holding her hands together while playing might work.
But in contrast to Experienced I would advice to first try to get her comfortable with being tied, before I would even mention gags. Because being gagges is for many people more scary then being tied up.
But even if you want to start with introducing her to the concept of a gag I would start with putting your finger on her lips and then continue to gag her with your hand over her mouth. With the personal contact it is more personal and less frightening.

But as I understand Spencer, he already mentioned his like for bondage to his girlfriend (or soon to be girlfriend).
And she has the common idea of bondage, which is the strongly SM influenced stuff you sometimes hear about.
I would start by talking to her, telling her exactly what you like and what you don't like. Ask her if she is ok with looking at some of your favorite bondage pictures. Of course you should start with light bondage pictures and slowly proceed to the stricter ones... asking her to tell you directly if something isn't in her comfort zone any more. You should watch her closely too to make sure she still feels safe.
When she knows what to expect you can ask her if she would be willing to try some of that stuff.

The most important part is to talk to her about everything in a friendly and comforting surrounding and situation and take as much time as she needs.

Just my two cents on the subject,
Angua

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